Co-parent like a Championship Winning Team
I am a damn good co-parent, and I attribute that fact largely to my athletic career. I played lacrosse for 8 years as a goalie in my youth and in college. If you’ve played a team sport, you know the mental fortitude and discipline required of players. Early 6am practices after late night college parties, running until you want to vomit, and the occasional feud between players were my least favorite parts of athletics. Heck, I even had a horrible college coach who’d bully me and gossip about me to the other players when I wasn’t around (she later apologized when I called her out). Nevertheless, I was committed to bringing my best self to practice and the games.
Why?
Because I wanted to win. And I don’t mean just winning the games. I loved the sense of accomplishment and self-worth I had knowing I chose the hard, yet worthy path. That was the ultimate victory. I mean every spring for years, I played lacrosse 6 days a week, and I would get huge bruises from the 50-80 mph lacrosse balls hitting right where my goalie padding was conveniently missing, but it was worth it.
I endured literal physical pain and even put up with a few players and a coach I did not like over my lacrosse career, because I was focused on results.
Co-parenting is no different (minus the physical pain).
Think about it.
You're not just managing the logistics of your child’s life together as co-parents; you're problem solving, collaborating, and putting aside your differences to execute on a game plan ensuring your child's well-being. Just like a great athlete, a successful co-parent needs:
Discipline: Do your best to stick to your agreed upon schedules and other agreements, and fight the urge to fall back into any toxic behaviors. Focus on maintaining a respectful relationship no matter what.
Communication: Clear, open, and honest communication is the foundation of any successful team. It's like having a quarterback who can call the right plays at the right time.
Flexibility: Things don't always go according to plan. Being able to adapt and adjust is crucial, just like a basketball player who can hit a game-winning three-pointer when the pressure is on.
Teamwork: Co-parenting is a team effort. It's like a relay race, where everyone has a role to play and needs to work together to achieve the goal.
As co-parents, you are a team in creating a happy, whole child who feels loved and gets their needs met across households.
That is what winning is for a co-parent team. Those are the results you are committed to despite the challenges and occasional inner team disputes. If you lose your way, just think about Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, NBA champions, who despite having well-documented on-court clashes, formed one of the most formidable duos in NBA history. Their ability to put aside personal differences and focus on the common goal of winning championships is a testament to the power of teamwork.
So, the next time you're feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of co-parenting, channel Jordan and Pippen and remember that you’re a part of a championship team. With discipline, communication, flexibility, and teamwork, you can achieve greatness together. You must. Your child depends on it.