5 Co-parenting Lessons from Mashonda, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz’s Blended Family
Do you remember years ago hearing about some unsavory reports of the beloved Alicia Keys “stealing someone’s man”? I don’t love gossiping, so I will keep this part short, but it seems like it was all over the news that Swizz Beatz cheated on his then wife (during their separation) with one of my favorite singers Alicia Keys.
Mashonda Tifrere, Swizz’s wife, spoke publicly about the affair in media interviews. Things were clearly heated for a time, and Alicia and Swizz eventually got married. Fast forward to 2018, Mashonda published the book Blended: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family with the foreword written by Alicia Keys and a chapter written by Swizz Beatz.
Yes, you read that correctly.
This trio went from drama and humiliation to co-parenting excellence, and Mashonda generously tells us how they made this amazing transformation in her book. I highly recommend reading Blended for Mashonda seamlessly merges great storytelling, tangible advice, and research-backed information to help other co-parents along their journey.
I especially love how she bravely takes accountability for her shortcomings and details the methods she used to evolve internally thus creating a healthy blended family.
Pause. I want to make sure you didn’t miss a key point just made.
Good co-parenting depends largely on each parental figure doing internal work to be self-aware and taking international steps to grow where needed. That means we can’t blame everything going wrong on the other co-parent even if they do kind of suck at it.
Ok, back to Blended.
Alicia’s foreword and Swizz’s chapter in Mashonda’s book not only symbolically illustrate a harmony developed amongst these co-parents, but they also offer hope and thoughtful reflection which is refreshing for the co-parent community. But my favorite guest writer piece was from the young man who inspired their collective growth: a letter from their son Kasseem. He shared words of encouragement to other co-parented kids which I thought was so lovely. I read it to my son, a fellow co-parent kid, and he liked it too. It lets kids know they are not alone and can even lean on each other.
In short, Mashonda's Blended is a must-read for any co-parent. But if you’re still on the fence, here are five key lessons from this insightful and inspiring book:
Embrace the roller coaster: As Mashonda puts it, "Co-parenting is like a roller coaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes you just want to get off." But she also reminds us that "it's possible to find joy and fulfillment in this journey." I agree.
Be present: Mashonda emphasizes the importance of being fully engaged in your role as a co-parent. She says, "The key to successful co-parenting is not about being perfect; it's about being present."
Communicate effectively: Mashonda advises, "Avoid blaming, listen actively, and try to see things from your ex's perspective. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument but to find common ground and solutions that work for everyone."
Focus on your children: Mashonda reminds us that our children are watching and learning from our example. She says, "Your kids are watching. They're learning how to handle conflict, how to communicate effectively, and how to treat others with respect."
Find joy and fulfillment: Mashonda encourages us to look for opportunities to connect with our children and create positive memories. She says, "The goal is not just to survive co-parenting but to thrive and create a loving and supportive family."
Blended is more than just a book; it's a guide, a support system, and a source of inspiration. Mashonda offers practical advice, relatable stories, and a positive outlook on co-parenting. If you're struggling to navigate the challenges of co-parenting, you’ve got to get this book.
Tell us what books helped your co-parenting relationship in the comments :).