by Sydney Swonigan, Co-parent Certified Coach

Co-parenting this winter season? Many of us are, and it can evoke a range of emotions, including nostalgia, frustration, and gratitude. Here are some common sentiments that co-parents have shared with me, along with ideas to navigate them for maximized merriment.

Less Than Desirable Custody Schedule

Dealing with a custody schedule that doesn’t align with your ideal holiday plans can be disheartening, to say the least. It’s okay to take a moment and acknowledge any sadness or frustration you’re experiencing about it (not to your kids, of course). There are ways to make the most of the time you do have with your children.

Consider quality over quantity by embracing the time you do have. Get creative and create new traditions or activities that make the time together special. You can even explore celebrating the special day twice, once at each home. Flexibility and keeping an open mind on how to spend the holidays can make a significant difference.

Ghost of Holiday Past Got You in Your Feels

The holiday season often brings memories of past celebrations, which can be bittersweet. Maybe you miss your in-laws or are still accepting that the family makeup you imagined has changed. Acknowledge these emotions and allow yourself to grieve, if needed. At the same time, consider starting new traditions or adapting old ones to create positive experiences, helping to overwrite past memories with newer, happier ones.

Different Spiritual Beliefs Across Households

Diverse beliefs between households can be challenging during the holidays or enriching and rewarding. Your choice. Embrace this opportunity to teach children about different cultural or spiritual traditions. Encourage an open dialogue with your co-parent to find a balanced approach that respects each other’s beliefs while prioritizing the child's exposure to various traditions.

Unique Family Makeup Different from the Model Holiday Family

Let’s face it. There is totally a model family structure depicted in most modern holiday movies and stories. Nevertheless, us ‘nontraditional’ families matter and have been featured at times as well. In fact, one could argue that Joseph was Jesus’ stepdad or adoptive dad, and Tim Allen who plays Santa Clause in the 1994 The Santa Clause movie was a divorced dad. Embrace the diversity and individuality within your family unit. Create your own traditions that reflect your family's values and dynamics, making the holiday season a celebration of your distinctive bond.

Dare We Say Grateful Co-parenting

Not all blended families ‘hate it here’. I, myself, love the peace of mind I have not forcing a relationship that wasn’t working. Creating a happy home on my terms with my son is so fulfilling. Additionally, I am grateful for my blended family, because my son gets exposure to various traditions throughout the winter season. 

Morale of this blog: There’s more than one way to holiday! Co-parenting is all about thinking outside the box, being creative, embracing flexibility, and finding pride in your unique family dynamic. While co-parenting during the winter season brings its share of challenges, it also offers opportunities for growth, adaptation, and creating beautiful memories. By acknowledging and navigating through these common sentiments, us co-parents can ensure that the holidays are filled with warmth, joy, and cherished moments for both the children and the co-parents.

I believe in you. You got this.